Nearly every week these days, I am in conversation with a woman who is stressed, doubting herself, and overwhelmed by all of the responsibilities in front of her. The world is hard, and many national crises spill over into our private lives. When I have these conversations, I have started to ask: Do you have a mental health counselor? The majority of women say no.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, Women are significantly more likely to experience mental illness compared to men, with 27.2% of women compared to 18.1% of men facing some mental health stressor. Despite recent pushes for more openness to mental health counseling and less stigma about engaging with mental health professionals, there is still resistance.

I understand this resistance, as I used to be adamantly opposed to seeing a counselor. I thought it was a sign of weakness or the inability to control one’s own life. That stance seems silly at this point; almost embarrassing. Whenever I reflect on my past perspective on counseling, I am grateful that I have grown as a person.

Today, I see a counselor every two weeks, realizing that it allows for a beautiful exchange of very personal ideas and an opportunity to ask for help in a private setting. I would not have come to a new perspective on counseling had it not been for an episode of post-traumatic stress. And although I would not wish heavy trauma on anyone, I do feel fortunate that my worldview was knocked out of place, as I think it has allowed me to be much more open about what I can and cannot handle in the world, and the fact that I need support.

Often, women feel the need to “be there” for everyone – something I find myself doing. However, we must take care of ourselves to support others, and seeing a mental health counselor is one of the best ways to do so. I look forward to my sessions; I enjoy how they often have no agenda yet still have a profound impact. I also appreciate being able to talk through difficult situations in both my personal and professional life. Having a mental health counselor allows you to be vulnerable, self-reflective, and to correct behaviors that might be causing you or others emotional harm.

Because I think taking care of your mental health is essential to a happy life, I regularly talk to others – including women – about my own experience, and how life-changing it has been. I don’t hide the fact that I see a counselor, but instead talk about the value of the exchange, and what it does for me. I think it is important for people to understand that one can appear strong, successful, and happy, and still need support, a time for contemplation with an expert, and a quiet space just to be entirely oneself on a regular basis.

All of us deserve a beautiful life (something I strive for), and having a mental health counselor can help us move closer to that goal and a sense of peace in our busy minds. If you are a woman who is resistant to sharing your feelings with a professional, as I was, I urge you to reconsider, as the results will surprise you – and more importantly, comfort you.