We live in a world of shame that teaches families to keep secrets, forcing victims of sexual assault and abuse to stay silent. For many survivors, victims, and silenced family members, the holidays are not a season of peace and joy; they are a reminder of betrayal, of being silenced, and of sitting at tables with those who sexually assaulted, abused, and hurt them or those who chose to look away. This holiday season, let the truth be the gift that sets us free. Let honesty break the chains of generational curses and open the door to true healing.

Recently, I read a book titled Secrecy by Rebecca P. Smith. In it, Smith described being sexually assaulted by a family member, her uncle. Her family’s response was not protection or justice, but silence. The family silenced a child to protect the family’s name and the sibling, and pretended as if nothing had happened. That silence caused a lifetime of trauma, shaping her childhood, adulthood, and motherhood.

Smith’s mother and relatives never confronted the perpetrator with the truth and the why, which allowed him to continue preying on others within the family. Smith, a child robbed of her innocence, justice, healing, and safety. A child who was never allowed to express the emotional impact of her abuse, fear, anger, sadness, or anxiety. Her pain manifested in aggression, depression, and conflict because trauma had taken root in her body and mind, long before she had words to understand it. It was a coping mechanism born of survival, not defiance.

Forcing a traumatized child to attend family events where the perpetrator and abuser was present was an act of not protecting or defending an innocent child. Even when she pleaded not to go, this innocent child had to “be respectful” and let it go because it’s family. Each gathering became another wound, a reminder that her comfort and safety mattered less than appearances. The perpetrator moved freely among them, smiling, joking, and pretending nothing had happened, while Smith sat in silent terror.

Being silenced by those who call themselves Christians is hypocrisy at its finest. As Christians, we are to seek forgiveness, speak truth, and protect the vulnerable. How can a family tell a child to pray, trust God, and walk in faith, yet hide the sin of sexual assault in the name of reputation? How can one preach peace and love on Sunday while protecting a predator in private? Silence in the face of such evil is not faith, it’s fear disguised as holiness.

As a Christian, one cannot continue to serve two masters: God and the devil. A human who calls themselves a Christian, who hides the truth, is allowing the open doors for the devil to thrive in the shadows of secrecy. Every time a family protects an abuser, perpetrator, pedophile, instead of the abused, it reinforces cycles of harm that stretch across generations. Those who remain silent become accomplices in the destruction of another’s spirit.

I dedicate this article to the families who have silenced victims of sexual assault, mothers, fathers, siblings, and elders who chose secrecy over safety. I pray that this December, you find the courage to speak the truth. You cannot claim to walk with God while hiding behind lies. True Christianity is not about pretending everything is fine; it’s about doing the hard, uncomfortable work of accountability and redemption.

As we gather this December to celebrate the birth of Jesus, let us remember that Jesus’ story begins not in luxury or denial, but in truth and humility. To honor that story means confronting the brokenness within our own families. Healing does not come from pretending; it comes from acknowledging the pain, naming it, and choosing to do things differently.

Breaking generational curses begins with truth. Allow those whom you silenced to speak. Allow yourself to listen without defensiveness or fear. Healing requires courage, the courage to face the discomfort of what has been hidden for too long.

This holiday season, I urge you to shift from secrecy to sincerity, from appearances to accountability, from shame to solidarity. Be resilient in confronting the truth. Let your home become a place where the wounded can finally rest, where peace is not a performance but a promise kept.

You cannot walk with God and keep the truth buried. Step into the light. Let this December be the one where the silence ends and healing begins.