Narratives are spoken or written accounts of connected events. They become stories that we share, tell, and retell over a dinner table, out with friends, or to colleagues. A narrative can grow in size and scope, such as the traditional story of fishing. While the fish may, in reality, have weighed less than a pound, the story grows, and the size of the fish grows in the retelling. Stories can be embellished and refined, but ultimately convey the storyteller’s viewpoint.

As social media popularity and usage have increased, the emphasis on personal connection, especially oral storytelling, has declined. Stories aren’t told human to human anymore but conveyed from an electronic device to a person, making person-to-person communication a solitary experience. From there, echo chambers are created and maintained. Clicking the like button on my social media platform solidifies my echo chamber, as my video feed finds similar posts based on what I liked.

In 2020, it became socially commendable to seek out the perspectives of those who had experienced discrimination, to learn untold history, and to examine the realities of lived experience. Webinars were hosted, books were published, articles circulated, and social gatherings centered on storytelling and truth-telling. Around dinner tables and across digital platforms, conversations focused on unlearning whitewashed history and relearning the history of the United States with honesty and integrity. Stamped from the Beginning by Ibram X. Kendi and Jason Reynolds soared to the top of the New York Times Bestseller list, as readers sought a deeper understanding of America’s racial past. Events like the 1921 massacre of Black Wall Street in Tulsa, Oklahoma, long excluded from mainstream education, finally entered public discourse. Silenced perspectives were uplifted. Marginalized narratives were shared, amplified, and valued.

In Columbus, Ohio, artists collaborated to create murals around the city that reflected the moments of reconciliation. Artistic renditions showing solidarity and acknowledging the pain that our neighbors had felt for generations became a foundation in our city. These murals were more than just images—they were visual narratives reclaiming public space to tell truths long ignored. In this way, art became a communal way to flip the script, allowing people to see themselves—and each other—through new lenses. The images were so powerful that they were published in a book.

It shouldn’t have to happen to you for it to matter to you.

Danielle Coke

Yet, five years later, the erasure of anything related to diversity, equity, and inclusion has become the norm. How did the narrative shift so quickly? How do we continue to understand others when communication is silenced? Narratives cannot change until empathy is prioritized. Danielle Coke is a social justice graphic artist who publishes under the name of Oh Happy Dani. She introduced me to the phrase, “It shouldn’t have to happen to you for it to matter to you.” This is a foundational principle to follow. It is easy to negate someone’s experience just because it is not my understanding, and dismiss it simply because it’s not mine. I can remain in the echo chamber I’ve built on my phone, retreat into my comfort zone, and block out unfamiliar ideas. Or, I can choose to pause and listen.

The humanity of an individual must always be prioritized. I will never change someone’s thinking unless I meet them where their thinking occurs. Just as multiple people were patient with me in my learning journey, I need to unearth the thinking anchors of the person I am talking with. Changing the societal narrative starts with talking and, more importantly, listening to individual people. We must listen to understand, not listen to get ready for our following comment. Information that aligns with existing views will be adopted in conversations. At the same time, individuals will reject information that contradicts prevailing beliefs (Sherif & Hovland, 1961). When talking with an individual whose thinking is opposite yours, listen for connection points, or the anchors in their thinking. Are there potential thinking anchors that are the same as yours? When you find one, there is your starting point.

Society is filled with people who are not listening to each other. Creating a space for authentic conversation is essential if we’re serious about flipping the script and reclaiming the narrative. Often, during conversations, we steer away from the uncomfortable or end the conversation flow in the vein of “I don’t like conflict.” Thus, it stops any learning from happening. We learn in the uncomfortable. Creating an environment where humanity is uplifted and there is trust in the relationship with the person produces thinking conversations. Maya Angelou exemplifies this in her famous quote, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  Narratives are not changed in heated arguments, soundbites, or social media outlets but in trusted relationships.

To grow, I need to hear the experiences of people around me. I intentionally place myself with people who have varied experiences and perspectives from my own. If I only hear one narrative, then I tend to believe that narrative, but if I take a moment to learn and listen from multiple perspectives, my whole viewpoint can change. Place yourself outside your echo chamber to understand someone else’s perspective. Build a relationship with someone who thinks differently from you to have an honest conversation. Find the anchor in their thinking. The collective narrative is made up of individuals who have beliefs. To change the narrative, start with a conversation.

Changing the collective narrative begins with listening, but doesn’t stop there. It continues through conversation, empathy, understanding, honest history, art, and action. The stories we choose to amplify will define the future, and now more than ever, the pen is in our hands. Let’s flip the script, together.

Sherif, M., & Hovland, C. (1961). Social judgment: Assimilation and contrast effects in communication and attitude change. Yale University Press.