Unfortunately, the United States (America) is one of the cultures that does NOT concern itself nor encourage us to foster empathy.  Some cultures put more emphasis on empathy and emotional intelligence than others.  This is at no time more evident than during our election seasons. So it is an appropriate moment to pause and prepare ourselves intellectually and emotionally for the political battle that is gearing up again.  Let’s think about our thinking . . . and about our empathy.

As discussed in previous articles, the US is one of the top “masculine” (also referred to as aggressive) cultures of the world according to significant research by Hofstede and others. One of the consequences of being in a highly aggressive, commercialistic, materialistic, and militaristic culture is that on the flip side, we are also very low in empathy and emotional intelligence as a collective. It is a national norm to expect the wounded to “toughen up” and rarely do we encourage the more emotionally healthy response to “tender up.”  We tend to avoid feelings to emphasize so-called “facts.”

The study of emotional intelligence (EQ) is relatively new to the academic analysis of the way awareness of the emotional states of ourselves and others fosters connection and good decision-making.  Emotional Intelligence is challenging the traditional way of “leadership” in the US which states, “Leave your personal life (or any other parts of you we may not like) at home. Instead, leaders in the most successful companies are being encouraged to use and analyze the emotions of themselves and others in addition to other facts in order to make more informed decisions. Emotionally intelligent leadership includes historically ignored factors and people. Unlike the fixed intelligence quotient (IQ), EQ can be developed and increased to enhance one’s leadership skills and connection to others.

The first step to empathy is emotional intelligence, the awareness, and responsiveness to the feelings of others.  However, empathy goes deeper.  Empathy says, “Not only will I become aware of you, and work to respond appropriately as a decent human being and leader, but I will learn to deeply care. I will allow myself to feel your pain, to come close enough to be trusted to help you carry the unreasonable burdens that have been placed on you. I will not demand you put on a happy face for me, nor be blind to your suffering.  Instead, I will walk with you through the valley of the shadow of death, and I will not leave you there to tough it out alone. We will walk through it together.”

As humans, empathy is tough because it requires de-centering ourselves. As believers and followers of Christ, however, it is the primary mission of our lives. Regardless of the specific careers or gifts of the Spirit we are given, empathy is necessary to fulfill the great commission and the “new commandment.” “For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, Love your neighbor as yourself” (Galatians 5:14).

To understand the depth of Godly empathy, we should understand Galatians 6:2-5 “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ… v5 for each one should carry their own load.” These may seem to be contradictory instructions just breaths apart from each other, however, in the original language, these words are more accurately translated in English as “unreasonable burden” and “reasonable load.”

Throughout history, humans have put “unreasonable loads” on some people in every culture.   In American history, the unfairly burdened have been mostly Black people, other people of color, and women.  Thus, it is our obligation to not only do our fair share of work to support our families of origin but as Christ followers, it is also our reasonable load to help carry the unreasonable loads of others. 

Sometimes an unreasonable load can be inflicted by this life without any human or institution being at fault.  In these cases, we don’t feel any resentment about being asked to support the one who has lost a child or spouse in death, or tragedy. Yet, we feel unfairly put upon that we are asked by God or the community to help carry the load of these same losses as a result of injustice that has been put upon our neighbor.  Why?

Racial and gendered injustices are well-documented facts of our history and their current ongoing consequences.  Just as we would gladly offer to help a stranger in trouble on our doorstep, or roadside we should understand that our Father has given us the responsibility to love each other by helping correct and carry the wrongs committed by our ancestors and current systems that were formed and fortified by those ancestors.

Empathy and Godliness allow us to feel the pain of our neighbors and demand that we no longer claim, “It wasn’t me!” but instead we humbly ask, “How can I help?”