There is a familiar childhood phrase often heard in schoolyards.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

While it’s meant to deflect hurtful language, many of us know better. Words can cut deep. Words may not break actual bones, but they can leave wounds that last a lifetime. While the rhyme implies resilience, it also dismisses the real emotional damage that words can cause.

The Power of Words

Words start conflicts. They inflame emotions, end relationships, and twist truths. Whether whispered in anger or shouted across the room, words can either divide or unite. They have the power to breed contempt or breathe life.

Now more than ever, it’s easy to see how words have sown division into the fabric of our society. Online platforms overflow with harsh opinions, angry debates, and viral sound bites. Getting in the last word has become a sport, regardless of who gets hurt. Accuracy takes a back seat to attention. But what if we taught a different way?

Reconciliation Starts Early

As we reflect on our country’s challenges and growing division, the need for honest conversation becomes clearer. Yet, many don’t know how to start a reconciliation conversation because we were never taught how.

The good news? We can teach it starting in elementary school. The playground is often a mirror of society. Conflicts arise, emotions run high, and relationships are put to the test. However, just like in real life, these moments can also become valuable learning opportunities.

As students file into a classroom upon returning from recess, playground disagreements offer an opportunity for a lesson in reconciliation. The teacher pauses the instruction to help students discuss it. Each child shares their perspective. The goal isn’t to assign blame, but to untangle what happened and how to restore the relationship. This is the essence of reconciliation.

Restorative Practices: Tools for Healing

Restorative practices offer a framework for resolving conflict through empathy and dialogue. Rooted in Indigenous traditions and global faith communities, these practices prioritize healing over punishment.

At the heart of this process are four simple, powerful questions:

1. What happened?
2. What were you thinking and feeling at the time?
3. Who has been affected and how?
4. What needs to be done to make things right?

These questions encourage reflection and build a pathway to healing. When used consistently, they create reconciliatory spaces that transform communities where belonging is prioritized and every voice matters.

A Conversation Over Cake

I was recently reminded of the power of reconciliation at an unexpected place: a graduation party. A church elder pulled me aside and asked, “How do you feel about immigrants?”

I knew this wasn’t just small talk. She was known for having strong opinions, and I knew that mine might not align with hers. I had two choices: politely excuse myself and head for the cake table or stay and engage. I chose to lean into the conversation.

I responded honestly: “I’m supportive of every human being, and documentation status doesn’t change that.” Her body language shifted. I could tell she disagreed. She responded firmly, saying immigration needed order and structure.

Knowing her well, I tried to connect through our shared faith. I mentioned that Jesus was once an immigrant, fleeing to Egypt as a child. She pushed back, quoting scripture about obeying the laws of the land.

This wasn’t going to be easy.

Next, I referenced the Parable of the Good Samaritan and how compassion crossed cultural lines. Again, she disagreed. I began to wonder if I should’ve gone for the cake after all.

But I stayed. I knew she cared deeply for others, especially the elderly. So, I shifted the conversation. I asked how she felt about the treatment of elderly people in this country.

That changed everything.

She shared her frustration about the lack of respect for older generations. I agreed. It was a moment of connection, and the start of a real conversation. From there, we began to build trust. By the end, she acknowledged that her views on immigration were shaped by news station sound bites, and she admitted that knowing an immigrant personally might change her perspective.

We didn’t resolve every disagreement, but we reached a mutual understanding. That is reconciliation.

The Ongoing Work of Truth and Healing

Reconciliation isn’t a checklist or a one-time event. It’s a lifelong practice—one that takes patience, humility, and trust. It starts with the truth, which often requires us to peel back our own layers of bias, perception, and personal experience to truly view it.

From the playground to community spaces, from classrooms to graduation parties, the path to healing is through conversation. Truth and reconciliation require intentionality. At the heart of it all, it involves trust, rooted in a powerful belief: humanity comes first.