We have become a society that often scrutinizes whether or not a person really suffers from mental health. But do you understand mental health and what it means to be in a mental state where you feel your world is crumbling? Or is it just a world you feel a mental disorder does not coexist with anxiety and depression?

The CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) defines mental health as an emotional, psychological, and social well being which determines how we handle stress, relate to others, and make healthy choices in every stage of our life. For this defined reason we have to learn how to balance our emotions, psychological and social well being in a world where we often see individuals struggling with finances, drug and alcohol addictions, bullying, manipulation, toxicity, and dangers of living in urban and underserved communities among many other things that drive human beings to commit suicide.

What does it mean to care for your mental health? You have to start with yourself, and putting yourself above all others even when other human beings feel you are being selfish for doing so. Being negligent in caring for your mental health lead to long lasting physical health conditions such as strokes, depression, diabetes, heart disease, obesity, deterioration of your body, malnutrition and other chronic conditions which drive you to be high risk for mental illness. Find a balance to self care and stick to it regardless of the world that is crumbling around. You cannot help others if you don’t help yourself first. Let them call you selfish. Who cares.

I speak to you from life experiences from being suicidal, to my ex-husband trying to take my life several times and my silence of being ashamed of the abuse almost cost me my life. I did not understand the meaning of caring for my mental health because I was raised to not believe in a shrink. I was taught if I speak or seek a shrink society will think I am crazy.

I didn’t understand what it meant to know your self worth until after the divorce and being single for almost eight years.

During the season of being in an abusive marriage, I began to take martial arts classes with my children and compete. This taught me to stand up for myself in that season of darkness. Supreme Grandmaster Joon Pyo Choi approached me and said, “Are you being abused at home?” I didn’t answer. Grandmaster Choi looked me in the eyes and said, “It’s okay. You don’t have to answer, but I know you are. After this, you will no longer be abused.” I was in a state of shock and didn’t understand how in the world he knew. But God always has a way of revealing your unwanted secrets of darkness. Grandmaster Choi let the world know, “From the moment we are born to the moment we die, we must constantly try to improve. If we do not, we die. It is our obligation as human beings.”

In the season of being single I went back down through memory lane and mesmerized by a series of events that transpired when serving in the military. The military taught me to be disciplined, and leadership. This reminded me I have to discipline myself to have a balanced life. That included learning the value of my self worth, and discipline in a daily routine. This impacted my mental health and wellness for a better me. It was the obligation of being better and a better human being. To be the leadership of my life.

In a season of feeling like my world was crumbling, I was all over the place. I felt like something was wrong with me. Why? Well, let me explain. It was because I did not put myself first, always caring for everyone else, no self value, didn’t have a father growing up to teach me about life or to not tolerate men abusing me. I didn’t know or understand my purpose in life.

In this world we call life, we have to find a balance and a drive to wake up every day to enjoy the beauty of who we are. Mental health and wellness are key to your success in life and in your career. Start today by taking the first step to call someone and say I am not okay. Can we talk?

Take the next step in finding a balance and daily routine to care for your wellness, even if it is doing yoga for 15 minutes or getting up to walk for 15 to 30 minutes every day. But start somewhere and know you are valued. Your life has meaning and purpose.

Start a new you without the fear of life robbing you of your purpose to impact and help others.